May Playlist

What I’ve been listening to this month:

Wearing My Rolex- Wiley

Snakes on the Plane- Cobra Starship

Heaven on Earth- Britney Spears

Black and Gold- Sam Sparro

Propane Nightmares- Pendulum

Cry For You- September

That’s Not My Name- The Ting Tings

Wow- Kylie Minogue

Freaxx- Brokencyde

The City is at War- Cobra Starship

Check Yes Juliet- We The Kings

American Boy- Estelle feat. Kanye West

4 Minutes- Timbaland, Madonna, Justin Timberlake

Heartbreaker- Will I Am feat. Cheryl Cole

DANCE MUSIC

I went to a club on Wednesday night (called Thirst Lodge) for a U18 night. They do these every holiday/ half-term break, so I figured I should see what they’re like before leaving. I went with a few friends and ran into some people from my old school- awkward! It was really fun, considering I love techno music (laugh all you want) and extremely exhausting. Three hours of dancing will do that to you. It was like an Eastern dance mixed with a Sandy Hill mosh pit magnified. Meaning hot, dark, and very crowded. But fun! My nails had a UV top coat on them, so they glowed in the black light. Haha that was like the highlight of the night (pun intended cause I’m lame!).

SEE YOU IN VERY FEW DAYS

Dear God.

Observe these screenshots:

Jesus Christ guys. I mean, first of all, why am I related to the Ku Klux Klan? And THEN we have MoCo and Eastern right after this! This is hilarious. BTW, this is from The Washington Post. I was searching online and found it.

Sorry about not updating! I have half-term this week and next week my exams start. I have my art exam on my birthday, and then three weeks of waiting!

see you guys soon,

Beatrice

Damn them Beatles

Figured I should probably post something so you don’t think I’m dead or something.

Check this: http://stargods.org/BeatlesEvil.html

Bwahaha! My favorite part is “Every band that has made a pact with satan has had a member die.”

Ha! I would be a little worried if some band didn’t have a member die. You know, eternal life and everything not quite yet a normal occurrence. So that just made me lol.

AND ALSO I read an article today in one of the newspaper’s Sunday magazines about this dude. Doesn’t sound that exciting, but he DOESN’T BRUSH HIS TEETH unless he feels like it! Apparently, this could be every other day (gross to begin with) or EVERY SIX MONTHS.

AND HE WONDERS WHY HE DOESN’T HAVE A GIRLFRIEND.

Now, I knew that the British had some minor problems with hygiene, but this is just taking it beyond the limits. And he lives off of roadkill and foraged food. And bathes when he feels like it. Says he likes the coating of “healthy” dental plaque. This man is insane; someone call the nice men in the white jackets!

BUT WAIT THERE’S MORE Guess what? My birthday is the first day of exams this year. THAT SUCKS. Now have a photo:

Moi working on a shirt for a friend. It read: “it’s all good in the hood.” Pretty cool, I must admit. So in awe of the coolness, I made myself one that was like an inverse stencil reading “holla.” Made with metallic purple and mustard yellow paint. Pretty cool, dudes

I’ve Been Tagged

A) List seven habits/quirks/facts about yourself.
B) Tag seven people to do the same.
C) Do not tag the person who tagged you or tag “whoever wants to do it.”

A)

1. I can’t bear people who mispronounce words. Like the word patent, as in shoes. People who say “pay-tent” kill me. Rather, I guess I should say I hate people who say things differently than I do.
2. I always put my iPod on hold. Seriously. When I’m listening to a song, I’ll press play and then put it on hold. Even if I’m going to change it two seconds later. OCD.
3. I obsessively check my email. This doesn’t mean I actually reply to anything, I just check to see if there’s anything new. And ditto with websites. I’ll check my, Clara’s, and Zach’s websites like twenty times a day. I know there’s not anything new (especially if I check you guys’s at like 10 AM), but I do it nonetheless.
4. I laugh when bad things happen.
5. Apparently, my “normal” face is one of disgust at everyone. A girl at Oxford High School told me that on the first day I came here, she thought I didn’t like her because I glared at her. Whoops! Gwyn tried to help me, but I ended up cracking up instead.
6. I hate it when I’m on a bus (or something), and people’s elbows and stuff are rubbing against me. Or when girls at school just lay their heads on my shoulder. Or like randomly go “Beatrice!!!” and hug me. Have I turned into a teddy bear without realizing it?? (yeah, yeah OCD whatever)
7. I can’t function on weekends or holidays until noon. Fo shizzle, my friends.

B) Umm everyone who I know with a website has been tagged. Do it again! Juuuuust kidding.

C) Why does this have its own section? THIS MAKES NO SENSE

Beatrice

P.S. I’ll update about Rome sometime.

P.P.S. Why has WordPress changed their tag system? Now you have to click ‘add’ every time you want a new one! BOOO

P.P.P.S OMG
http://youtube.com/watch?v=5AB7qL3volo&feature=use

;;;;;;;;;;

I would just like to start off by saying I appreciate the semicolon. Now, to carry on with today’s scheduled program…

There was a really pointless interesting article in the newspaper today about a boring heated debate going on right now in France concerning the semicolon. Apparently, people are coming to fists (haha just kidding) about whether or not the semicolon has purpose. I think it’s good, but apparently the influence of short, choppy, British sentences are causing French writers to abandon their traditional punctuation. I mean, come on, kids. My view on this: considering the fact that British youth appears to no longer be taught good writing skills, let alone valid punctuation, I sincerely doubt that England has any influence on French writers. I’ve found in my eons here that the girls at my school don’t even know how to use commas, inserting them in random places, but usually just leaving them out. My favorite example: The girl whose 1,000 word story had three periods in it. THREE. Count them, and weep!

I think this whole shebang should just be made into a movie. At least it would be more exciting.

EDIT:

WHY DO THEY LIKE THIS WOMAN

Personally, she really scares me. I mean, LOOK at her! Doesn’t she scare you, too? And puh-leez, “incredibly shrunken features?” We can only hope that soon includes her bosom.

EDIT AGAIN:

Eww have you seen Madonna’s new video for her single “4 Minutes?” Blegh. Hell, the woman’s 50! Get a fresh face, or at least don’t have her doing a striptease. Similar blegh to Britney’s “Piece of Me” video. The dress she wears in that one is positively scandalous! haha I sound like someone’s grandma.

Whoa.

I just found this.

This is common in Russia?

WHAT.

EDIT: OMG CHECK THIS.

All of her comics are amazing. And if you think they’re lame, then you think our friendship is lame. My personal favorites are the Pope ones (HAHAHAA) and the Battle of Hastings one. The one about that Polish dude is also pretty good. And the one about Benedict Arnold. OKAYY JUST LOOK AT THEM ALL. It may take you a while to find them on the site. She has an LJ as well where it’s updated regularly. I mean, damn why can’t I draw funny comics???

EDIT: Okay, look at this as well.

One of my favorite comments was this: Someone stated that it didn’t make sense that he causes the see-saw to drop when against a 1-ton weight, since he weighs the same. This is because he weighs a FUCKING ton, which is heavier than an average ton.

WORD TO YO MOTHER.

Compare People

I find this Facebook application absolutely hilarious, and also very true. I got an email from it once saying that one of my weaknesses was that I was reliable.

So it also says that my top rating is study harder, which is fairly true, I suppose, but honestly. Do people think that all I do is study? Then it’s tech-savvy, followed by kinder. That’s a good one. Kind? Me? Ha!

I think it’s interesting where I get low scores. Stuff like jealous of, stuck in handcuffs with, trustworthy. One low one is loyal. xD Well, we can’t all be loyal, eh? It’s alright for some!

But it’s a bit harsh looking at the really low stuff. Prettier, more fashionable, more likely to do a favour (okay, maybe that one’s true). And then out of two people who voted, no one thought I would make a good mother. Say what?? Also, no one thought I smelled nicer (I think Compare People may have been running out of options here), was sexier, more cuddly (lolz), kiss, etc. Eww wouldn’t it be weird if you got someone the same gender as you for kiss? Hahaha. And I defo think I could take someone in a fight, whoever said I couldn’t! Have you checked my nails recently? haha jk.

But it’s really fun comparing other people.

Oxford popo

Are hilarious. The only things I’ve ever seen the police do are eat at the chip van, and check out people’s parking permits. And once I saw these two policewomen buying some food at the Somerfield’s. But today they were actually doing something! What, I’m not really sure. But my mum and I came out of this shop in Summertown, and walked over to where she had locked up her bike. WHICH just happened to be in front of a POLICE CAR! And then they kept looking at us, and we kept looking at them, and then we were both like “hey, we prolly shouldn’t be here.” So we skidaddled outta there real fast. And there was this random woman who like got into the back of the car, but willingly, and was like giving them her info.

So I don’t know what they were doing, but maybe the police have started to function?

And btw, I have TWO AND A HALF days until my three week Easter holiday.

Titles are overrated

Today was majorly pathetic. I need a new pair of glasses (I’m going blinder so fast you’d think I was a bat), so my mum and I decided to go into city centre to check out the optometrist’s there. First, though, we stopped at the Starbucks that just opened in my town (!!!). That was the only good thing about today. Anyways, we got into the city center only to discover that the eyeglasses store is the only one shut on Sundays. So, we decided to check out a nice stationary store we’ve been meaning to go to. Closed. The covered market. Closed. The shoe stores have nothing good, it’s starting to rain, and the bagpiper has been ressurected.

Yeah, today sucked. But at least I got a hot chocolate.

I’ll be back at the end of June! How wicked is that? I’m skiving off of school early to get back to the good ol’ USA. You would not believe how much this year in England has made me love Maryland. I mean, it hasn’t all been bad, but it certainly makes you appreciate what you have. In the past week I have been advised to become both a mathematician and an English teacher. Glad to know the kids here think I could do great shiz.

Today I watched Pimp My Ride UK. HA. It was the most hilarious television show I have ever watched!!! Seriously. They were pimping this loser guy’s car, and it was this like old white guy hosting it, and I was like, this is even funnier than Pimp My Ride dubbed in German. Fosho.

EVERYONE GET TWITTER SO I CAN STALK YOU.

http://twitter.com/beatricekelly

That’s mine. I dunno what its purpose is, but it’s fun. So you should do it. NOWWWWW.

peace, dudes,

Beatrice

Why do you never sit babies whilst babysitting

I swear, these kids are making me older. Three boys aged 6-12= gray hair. Luckily, I’ve kept my beauty. (haha just kidding)

I always seem to find the best ways to freak myself out while babysitting. Last year, I was watching the telly while the kids were sleeping, but the only channels they got were infomercials and America’s Most Wanted. And of course, being all cool and un-scared and nothing like my sister, I watched AMW. BAD IDEA, BEATRICE. And of course, there’s a man in Maryland. So I immediately start thinking of what I would do if that dude came to the house. Would I get the kids? Ditch them and save myself? Scream shrillily until someone comes? Should I just ditch them now, and avoid the chance that he’ll come here? I completely missed the fact that it was EXTREMELY unlikely that this random person somewhere in Maryland (bigger than you think) would just choose this house and kill us all.

So now I’m sitting in the living room, watching the kitchen. There’s some weird clicking sound coming from it. I think it’s coming from the laptop, but I checked it and it appears to just be chilling. So where is it coming from? My Gwyneth mode only just kicked in, making me think it’s a bomb or something. Should I ditch the kids? Haha just kidding. It’s prolly just a low battery or something like that.

So I forgot the two most important things on my American list!!! Parkas, and Northface! No one here has heard of Northface, so I guess it’s a good thing I don’t have one. Everyone wears peacoats, or blazers, or just something really cool. I’m so glad I have a uniform- I definitely would not be able to look cool everyday. And I might kill myself if I wore Uggs everyday like the girls here.

SOOOO I might be able to come back half-way through June, instead of July! My exams start on my birthday (how unlucky is that?!??!), and they should be over in two or three weeks. My mum is going to email someone to see if I can still get grades if I leave early. Although, we have the house until August, so we’ll prolly just chill here for another few weeks or something. You guys should all come and visit!! Are we thinking Easter break, or what? Where are you guys going then? We’re going to Italy, and maybe Iceland. Or somewhere else during the Eastern weekend. We want to go somewhere where the shops will still be open, so somewhere fairly non-religious. I just want to go somewhere hot.

Have a good… Sunday?